An Ode to My Friends

Dear My Friends,

I have to be honest with you.  I'd never watched Parks and Recreation before.  I hated it.  I thought it was stupid.

In the past two weeks, I've watched every episode ever made.

I'm so sorry I ever doubted your taste in TV shows.

Please forgive me.

Love,
Allison

PS. No. This does not mean I will watch LOST or Breaking Bad.

PandR Liveblog! Season 6, Episode 15: Dave Returns (Archived from 2/29~~LEAP DAY!!)

Jabber IM with ~*erin*~ 2/29/12 9:19 PM

hello!

hahahhaha

what a day

HELLOOOOOO

this is gonna be a good blerg i can feel it!

haha i know that feeling

BOTH of those feelings!

hhaha a feelings swirl pool!

lets start right away so we actually blog

we can talk about our feelings while we watch TV

ooooo i have a better segway

okay

speaking of feelings did you see all those feelings ron swanson had on parks this week

about leslie taking a hiatus?

or about his ribs?

thank you for being here today everyone let's begin

his work in the sheet metal factor

he tried to awl a piece of metal!

poor guy

do you wanna watch parks?

or party down?

i wanna party down in the parks

YEAH

i'll watch ANYTHING

yeah

yeah

it's true

i will

lifes a party when you're hanging out with your best grown up friends

it sure is

are we having FUN yet?

lets watch hmmmm

HAHAHHAHA

PARTY DOWN

i've been hit

i meant to say sold

man

oh no erin i think you might be broken

let me fix you

be boop bop bop tinker tinker vroom

there! all better.

whiz bang i feel like a million bucks!

i am having fun yet!

BLAMMO

ba ba booeey

badabing badaboom

downtown abbey

is on netflex

downton lolol

abby!

hahhahaha

downtown abby

i will take my dog downtown

occupies all the streets

and she will be downtown abby

hahaha

for readers not in the know

sarah has a great dog named abby

that one is for abby

do you have some pictures of abby?

sarah!

i'm making a blogecutive decision

we are watching

are we watching abby?

i love dogsitting!

hhahahah

erin do you remember our movie get them to the greek

festival?

we had to cross some hot baklava to get them to the greek festival

it was epic and heroic

a triathlon  of effort

a TRYathalon of effort

greek pun!

my computer is making me do facetime with myself!

make it stop!!

hahhaha

sarah has been missing sarah

speaking of greek things, like tragedies, party down is not available for instant watch!

that is a tragedy

i started to cry but then remembered i am better than that

okay here our our options

i think i'm going to move to montana next year and run a gun shop

and work on a buffalo sanctuary part time

there is no crying in gun shops

exactly

you might have a misfire

we'll be almost neighbors

catch your dreams

lets watch dave returns

of parks and recreation

oh mine's already ready WEIRD!

k mines definitely not

~*erin*~ is now offline.

You left the chat by logging out or being disconnected.

i know i'm tryathloning to get you moving!

you need to be on the internet to wattch tv!

i hope you did not already move to montana

oh no!!

that was awful

were you in hades?

i bet i know what happened

i was

was your true love there and you went to get him?

but you weren't allowed to look back at him as you were walking back to earth

it's true

because i am megara

but you needed to make sure he was there so you turned around

i tried to swim the river styx because they refused me araft

i'm like 65 years old now

what an arafting story

damn girl

haha

like arresting?

i hope you understand all the pop culture references in this parks episode!

yeah pretty good right

i think i will!

mine is loaded and paused and ready

mine is as well~~

!!**

YKAYKAYAY

oh wait

quick!

i will be!

firefox crashed

i want to say to our blog readers

using the internet is like rolling a boulder up a hill sometimes

that is something i want to say to our readers but also....parks fans i know leap day is a more appropriate episode for this day but i really didn't like it much

sarah you can take your time i'm talking to the readers

i agree

donna and ginuwine as cousins was A+

ron's feelings A+

it was funny to see evryone be mean to jerry even on his sweet sixteen though

everyone tell a story about jerry...

okay are you aredy??

i am waiting for the hulu commershes to finish

what is this 2010!

haha'

that joke made a lot of sense in my head

i wish

what a year

yeah me too

did you listen to a lot of ginuwine that year?

i'm feeling very conversational with our nonexistent readers tonight

heck yes

did you guys know sarah has a very diverse and eclectic taste in music?

we have one!

hi kirk!

it's true, i do.

don't encourage him

who was your favorite 90s hip hop star?

that question is for you kirk! but also for sarah

my favorite?

hm?

sarah are you sure your not on a commercials website?

i'd have to say my favorites were wu-tang clan and a tribe called quest as groups

not sure about individuals.

haha no i'm not

the commercials ended a while ago but i didn't want to leave your questions unanswered!

what an oracle of a friend!

okay ready

3

2

1

oh i pressed play

we cool

cookie toosh

winnie the booh

hahahahhaha

tommy's girll

ann and tom

man

i love it

it's complicated!

am i in a relationship?

its complicated

...it's complicated

oh captain my captain!

hhahahaha

from dead poets society

ben leaning against the wall

mo money mo protective kevlar vests

we should capture a screenshot of that funny ben posish

do it

oh boy, here it comes

you know i can't

9/11

...9/11

ith his arms out

oh no!

there's a flesh-eating virus going around!

there is a flesh eating virus around

HAHAHA

man ron

it's calle MUSIC

called**

say your piece son

i dropped them all. ALL of them.

like a thousand.

andy dropped all the hot dogs!

dave

okay

i have no idea what louis c.k does

san diego sun. got me all tanned up.

and i feel like i hate him

but i love dave

NO YOU DON'T

YOU DON'T HATE HIM

Louis C.K. is hilarious

give him a chance!

he is a wonderful funnyman

i'm gonna get a frozen borito

i'm gonna go to the gas station, get a frozen burritO

eat it...right there

booorito

boureto

BOAReat-o

this show is never a bore-ito

OKy

that's vandalism.

erin that joke was A+

i dig your groovy tunes man!

no hurly play it un-perfectly

you mean IMperfectly?

hahhahaha

donna makes a great point

i would little spoon tom

not that this is a big deal

he would totes be the little spoon to me

but their wine looks like it comes from the wiz palace

you mean...the whiz palace

I'M STILL...in love with you

we can leave now whiile he is in the whiz palace

hey!

whizzingham...

manor

i think i'm a little ahead of you

lmk

okay i paused mine

wait you went through the first commercial?

lets start at the startof the song!

i'm at 8:40

on your word

i'll pres play

press

on your word govnerr

i have orders from the whizingham manor

did you see how urine color the wine was?

dehydrated urine

or saturated with vitamin c

i want my wine saturated with more wine

one night a drank a lot of tequila sunrises and sex on the beaches

and my pee was bright orange-yellow

and i was sort of worried but also drunk

so i never did anything about it

it never happened again though

it was the tequila

it takes all the yellow out of your pee

WHY DOES IT DO THAT

so cruel

SARAH

don't be upset!

you're right

it puts more yellow into your pee!

i'm so happy now

i have more happy news!

PRES PLAY

u got it

OKAY

ron snapping during the song

love the snaps

YES

highlight of the season

glad we both commented on that first

poor chris

adjusting

dave...oh it was great. caught a lot of bad guys

i hope dave comes back!

i think i'm gonna take a little go outside

you look like i could use some compan

y

hahhaha

dave is a man of his word

i said i would go now i'm gonna go

hahhahaha

oh my god leslie

he's in love with you

and he has a GUN

okay i love when ben points at the vegetables and starts laughing

i love all of ben's awkward nuances

i hope they never show tom and ann being cute together

i think you sound like an angel and everyone else sounds like demons

hhahahhaa

take me out to the ball game...take me out to the game

i would like to eat at the game

i want popcorn candy and the home team

leslie loves desert!

at the game

so who's talking now?

catch your dreams don't let it spread its wings and fly away

like lil sebastian!

i don't know how i feel about tan

andy always puts spread your wings in his songs

i still have feelings for leslie in a womanly fashion

and you are contraying me

you're contryrin me

i like the importance of bathrooms to this episode

me too

i have a commercial?

ben is stuck in the dungeons of the whizzingham manor

i do!

they are over

mine are not

thell me when!

the family is on a picnic

with the moms depression

tell them to GET OUTTA THERE

okay go

QUICK

play?

i am at 14:51

me too now

ready

3

2

go

1

i have something to say

it is emotional and it is important

romance,

leslie does not approve

okay

tom haverford playbook

number 2

i wonder what number 1 is

i want to tell him that he will get so cold!

he will find out for himself

i never thought i would say this but i think you are overthinking this

cuddle up like bunnies will listening to the roomba?

DJ roomba!

ann?

boo boo?

leslie let's not let your terrible decision making get in the way of this election

ASS

please just tell me what you want me to do

A GREAT FACE

he's shrimpy

nice hair

HE'S NOT SHRIMPY

good man

not the guy who called you a bitch

you tell me where he is i'lll punch him too

hold on CHUCK

the promise of tomorrow's wings haha

shackle it to your heart

never let the quittin start

pretty sweet sauce in there, eh ace?

NOW IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME I'M ABOUT TO ENDORSE 10 BEERS IN MY MOUTH

i'm about to endorse 10 beers into my mouth

i love that

i know you do too

sure do!

is the song tom is singing a tom haverford original

man i'm endorsing my second beer to my face

thr four sweetest words in the english language

you wore me down

i hope it's an original!

will you date me i want me to your boo and your boo to be me

second great ben bathroom scene

he won't go to the bathroom

not that that wasn't great

actually scratch thtat

great sode

we should ben face it

and abby face it

i agree

man i am so ready for bed

me too!

lets sings a goodnight song to our bloggers

okay

dear bloggers

dear sweet dreamers

i'm glad we both started with dear

i hope you laugh in your dreams cause your thinkin bout our blog

and when you rest your tiny heads on those pillows i hope your subconscious explodes with delight

and you see a thousand stars in your tiny head and not because you are sleeping outside where its could i hope you are in a bed

*cold

i'm gonna take the u out of cold

and you rush through a million dream galaxies, whirling and swirling and twirling with glee

the dream song has worked i'm even more sleepy!

achievement unlocked@

!

^____^

alright erin time to rest those weary eyes

post this bitch

Everyone Loves Television

GUEEESSSTTT BLOGGGGGGG

sCrEw tV LeTs tALk aBoUt pUpPiEs!!! 

This puppy is running.

 This puppy is sleeping 

 This puppy has a cute face

 This puppies mom is probably addicted to crack and can't afford a real cast for him but gave him crack and that's why he looks so excited. 

This puppy is starting through the space-time continuum 

 This puppy is either really tiny or that's a very big plate and piece of bread.

 HAHAHAHAHA

This puppies' mom is carrying him to the doctor because he broke all four paws in a tragic gold mining incident.

OHHHH tie it into TV you say?!?!  Fine. 

 These puppies just LOVEEEEE the new 3D technology on home televisions

 This puppy is so meta

This puppy just watched the season finale of Breaking Bad and CANNOT believe the cliff hanger!!!!!!

oKaY LoL tHaNkz 4 LeTtInG mE p0sT!

lOvE nD KiZzeZ

Allison

A Blogjammin after our own heart

Portlandia S1:E3 Ride Complete!

when she runs at 4 am

okay which portlandia should we watch?

want to watch one you haven't seen so you are also "live blogging"

i've only seen the first 2

great!

lets watch number 3

yeah

can you give me a quick recap of portlandia 1 &2

sure!

well

it's really just a bunch of clips of random characters living in portland

there's really no running plot

oh wonderful

except the mayor is kyle machlachlan and sometimes he gives carrie and fred tasks

but yeah it's real easy to just pick up

like batman?

almost exactly

but more humorous

oh man this one looks good

oh man

i love batman

which one?

fred and carrie discover that their maid is none other than their favorite singer-songwriter, aimee man. 

we doing a countdown or what?

i'm not even close to being ready

haha me either

i'm gonna get a glass of wine

what an excellent i dea!

i thought so

red wine

so it's heart healthy

mine is white

hold on i gotta grab it

the vineyard has a ridiculous name, rodney strong. but it was on sale and it is actually very delicious!

hhahahaha

i hope that isnt the owners name

i hope it is!

what a great porn name

rod

lol

okay WINE

wine and oreos acquired

okay i havent gotten mine yet

no worriesi tried to send a pic of my spread but it won't show up

ohh let me try

ice cream and cherries and a screwdriver obtained!

i emailed it to you

woohoo!!

i see the camera

you see the camera?

the camera is my computer

hahhah

what is a computer

okay!

i took a picture

yay!

also i took screen shots of our top 5 ben faces from 2 episodes ago

we can do a mashup post of those at any time

that looks delicious!

you look angry at the end though haha

it is pretty good!

also i can't wait to visit your home in the summer

i was trying to take a picture with the drink and the ice cream

but it was too hard

that is my room!

i understand

i like the star that i see

its lights!

i can make a 100 snow angles

*angels

and stay warm

i LOVE snow angles!!

beacuse i love math

i love making obtuse ones

but the little ones are so acute

it just feels right

hahhaha

hahaha yeahhh

okay so are you ready?

my episode three is loaded

mine as well

countdown?

wait!

it reverted

the load line

oh man

fix it

i'm on it

technology extraordinaire

buffer

jimmy buffer

ok here is 1 good joke while it is reloading.

i am typing with only one hand cause of the screwdriver

well more of a pun.

haha

all you can eat chinese buffert

at first i thought you meant tool

but maybe you mean drink

now

since you are still holding it

whats the joke!

last night i was thinking about what name i would take if i were to become a roller derby queen

and i came up with a lot of named

reptar

but my 2 favorites were brawl rudd

and brute gingrich.

hahahahahahaha

and now i really want to join rollerderby

barknock yourmama

so i can kick ass and have an awesome name

hahah i like that

its not great

elbows

only because barknock isn't a thing yet

we will make it one

like knock you down

or knock her in bed

ahahahaha

knock her in bed

if the rooms barrocking don't come a knocking

hahhhahah

i like that!!!

man watta president

so many puns to be made off his name

wattaguy

if i were a porn star my name would be Lincoln Log

what about benJAMMIN wyatt?

YEAHHHHHH

i want to make abraham lincoln log into a roller derby name

you can

and should

i wish there was a president elbows

president elbows

would be so ridiculous to say

THATS THE NAME

If i were a roller derby queen

i wish that were a real president as well!

me too

maybe someday

it's not impossible!

be really nice to anyone you meet named elbows

and say

man your ideas are super

i will marry that person

if i have to

did you ever think about becoming president

you don't have to limit your life to mac and cheese

you will be president elbows

it can be mac and cheese and cheese crust

looks like this thing is as loaded as it gets.

i love the cheese crumbs

oh my bar is really small too

that get browned

it is PATHETIC

that happened to my lasagna today

there is nothing pathetic about cheese

nobody is perfect

except cheese

READY

oh

you meant the loading

don't barknock cheese unless you want a real oBAM straight to the head

haha i did mean the loading

i think browned cheese is awesome!

i love the crunchy crust stuff

you gotta try this lasagna

anyway yes i am ready

all of our readers

you will make it when i visit

i will give you this lasagna recipe

or you will teach me and i'll make it@

!*

it will barknock your socks off

hahah i love the use of barknock

from now on

yeah send it!

he's my favorite president!

elbows?

hahhahah

i'll send the r.p after the blog

sounds gr88

president elbows

okay

tonight SD and I will be blogging S1 E3 of portlandia

because a) its supposedly really funny

EM hasn't seen any episodes yet, and is a HUGE Aimee Mann fan.

b) i made a vegan lasagna today

yeah i love aimee mann

what up portland

c) it will barknock our socks off.

barknock obama 2012.

d) i put on socks for the occasion

beautiful barnknock obama

e) i constructed the occasion so i could wear socks.

*barknock

hahhahah

should i not laugh while we are blogging?

haha barnknock?! where are we, lancaster??

i will allow it.

i miss those barnstormers

you might have to, since portlandia is notoriously funny

and i'm drinking wine.

yeah i'm feeling a lil oblasted

a lil sebastia-ed

nevermind, that sounded way better in my head.

no it was great i was too sad to type anything back!

he traded his legs for wings

RIP 5eva lil buddy

this episode of portlandia is dedicated to lil sebastian

running mate of president elbows

KNOPE 2012

team knope!

though bobby newport is quite dashing and paul ruddy

yeah he looks just like that guy!

alright

some guys have all the luck

back to portandia

shall we start the countdown?

i dont know if this is a real memory or not

but was paul rudd ever in a movie about leprachauns?

YES

COUNTDOWN

i think you're thinking of i love you, man

oh yeah

slappin da bass, man

maybe.

slappin de blades

another roller derby name!

that is what i call mowing the lawn

an excellent one at that.

hahah

okay

HELLO VIEWERS

SD and I are ready

hi y'all!

also sarah has the same initials as scooby doo

which is a joke i made earlier and was really excited about

so i will share it with you all now

i was somewhat excited

i was actually very excited

somewhat disappointed that it also meant i share the same initials as scrappy doo.

great pup

3

2

you stopped?

1

PORTLANDIA

oh man thats fred armesin

this bar is over

great chin beard

and gauges

gross

i hate this show

too bad about fix gear bikes

THEIR OVER

what did that guy make??

fred armesin has a giant hot glue gun

hahahhaha

guess waht?

shell art

SHELL ART IS OVER!

HAHHHA

haha playground sweep skipping?

fred armesin lives in a park with a broom

what a deep voice

hahhaha

i'm somewhat sexually attracted to fred armisen at this point

i should admit

sarah

he is super cute

later on in the episode you will see his dreamy eyes i hope

AND GAUGELESS

AIMEE!

thank good

MAN!

N!

playground sweep again?

*does he

i hope so

i bet aimee man is gonna clean a toilet

ayyyooo

i don't read the whole articles, though. just parts of them

because the music industry is in the toilet

great joke!

he does have dreamy eyes

and also the same glasses as aimee man

and dreamy glasses that match mine

you have the same glasses as aimee man!

it actually is dirt

aimee needs to get on the stove

oh man it's gotta be awkward to boss your music idol around

WHAT

WHAT IS THIS

i don't know what i would say to scott mckibben

okay

yriko yruiko

ride complete!

japanese tourist girls on a ride?

coffee land!

the ride is super fun

you so a-beautiful!

hichiro! ruf ruf ruf!

they drink tiny coffee with boys who look like johnny depp

hichiro!

her heart!

what cute small coffees they have

these coffees are

AAAAH SOOOO TINY

hichiro!

do the dog thing

what a great impression this asian girl does of fred armisen

that reminded me of a tim and eric episode.

hahhaha

live blogging is a terrible idea

i agree

well

name something that isn't jackie chan

without voices

ORGAZMIC RING

hahahha

lady fred and man carrie just got a giant box

batteries and everything!

hahhahaha

that is a lot of packaging

how wasteful

haha she has the same idea as us!

i think fred a. is going to make an orgasmic ring out of bubble tap

sewing bubble rap haha

*wrap

keep your head in the party zone

OKAY

why does fred armesin love glue gunning so much

what a great chess set!

hi sir, we thought you could use this as a house!

the box is back!

oh no the box came back!!!

great sketch

it was hungry

it wanted to get glue gunned

aimee is getting scolded

oh no how tiny!

i dont know how you can tell it doesnt fit if you didnt try it on

hhahaha

he should try it on she has a point

suzanna vega

hey aimee? guess who we hate?

man we are going to have great music links

hahhahahah

um...can you clean this stuff up off the floor?

i love suzanna vega

hahhah

tom's diner!

i like that song

do do do do do do do do

hahahhahaha

tori amos is THE WORST

aimee? know who we hate? tori amos.

isn't she the worst?

where did they get that human hair from?

haha a sarah maclaughlin pinata!

oh hey sarah maclaughlin

she is genuinely nice, she tries to save all the animals.

omg a food cart pod

wow she's the gardener!

i regret the vegan lasagna i ate

why is that?

i LOVE crepes

ou've gotta get out of there

alajshsfduhsk get outta there

GET OUT OF THAT CREEK

you gotttagottagottaogtaaget out of there

YOUR FEET

this guy has a really weird neck

compliment it

his name is luca

he's not the one touching!

not related to what is happening in the episode

but to a song by suzanne vega i'm thinking about

he's the hulk.

did you hear about the hulk?

when you are at the store and you want tograb the tie from the rack but you cant cause its stuck

i know when you're in that store and you just wanna grab that tie from the rack but you can't cause it's stuck?

i'm glad we both did that

HA

DUMPSTER DIVERS!

do you know those in your city?

fred a has a rat tail

hahahah the sarah macloughin head!

a side rattail

awww how sweet

High on Trash Street

use the pipe as a sleeve

dumpster diving in america

THE SWEATER FITS

aimme man is always right

awww awww he came back to life

PERFECT FIT

get out of here why are you making this? this is like the 9th time we've told you

we'll get you real food

we'll get some kids games

box remnants

awww

he looks like johnny depp!

and johnnny depp

i like that all the sketches tie in

yeah its really clever

the show has good continuity

it is very well written

i think it's mostly carrie

i'm hooked

well and fred

i'm glad

yeah fred can't do a blessed thing

i love the skeleton with yarn

its almost over!

me too!

the sign of a great show

oh nooo

wow it went so fast!

guess what!

WHAT

we got you a gig!

they got aimee a show?

yes!

encore they want more

ENCORE!

hahahh i love the clapping and stomping of one leg

great song

encoooree

they wanna hear one more

play one more

one more portland!

...right now

awwwwwww

what dedicated fans

so dedicated

there she is

she came back for more

no new songs, ok?

i have to fake enthusiasm

i love it

SARAH! SIT!

portlandia two thumbs up

five out of five

stamps of approval

the pup is back!

500 stamps

all of the approvals

5000 stamps

would approve again

SD and EM officially endorse portlandia

i can't wait til you meet the mayor

when do i meet him!

he is played by kyle machlachlan and is hilarious

who the hell is that

well he is in episode 2!

he played agent dale cooper in twin peaks

and he was also in blue velvet, the movie

OMG I LOVE THAT GUY

me too!

is he related to sarah maclaughin?

are you spelling his name right

one can only hope

also i'm listenign to luka by suzanne vega

but yes that is definitely the correct spelling of his name

about the boy upstairs luka who is getting abused

and suzanna vega does NOTHING about it

which is why we hate her

i'm going to play it right now too then

yeah what a bitch

also tori amos NEVERWROTE BACK

i wrote her a letter!

sarah

are you watching this video

what dumb top comments

this is not vintage

this is 1980s

did you get to the part where she took her hat off and shook her hair and it was animated?

in the video?

no

keep watching

what are the top comments?

whoa

To put a banner announcing a song by Rihanna under this Suzanne Vega is an insult to Suzanne and an embarrassment to Rihanna. Rihanna and Suzanne Vega don't belong in the same sentence.

ciarraibuzz 2 weeks ago 63

I love vintage. I love this. Like, if you agree

JasminePetrix 1 week ago 11

hair animation unlocked

SD and her ridiculous blogsnack spread

 VEST EXCITEMENT!

 EM has chocolate cherries and ice cream and a delicious side of screwdriver!

She is upset that Adam Scott is not there to share it with her.